Something Old Something New Something Borrowed and Something Blue

I knew that bracelet was meant for me the second I saw it. It’s silver, with blue balls (LOL NO NOT THAT ONE) made out of what I don’t know, and hearts J I wore it with my blue gown today. It eerily and unexpectedly matched. Every time I moved it jingled. It was cute.

Something Borrowed. My darling roommate hadiza lent me her box today. In it lies a colorful secret. I will return it by the beginning of next week.

It’s so weird how for a whole semester, I’d been smiling and giggling hi at this boy and never stopped to make conversation. Today, I know I owe two amazing friends of mine BIG TIME. He’s the newest thing in my life. Let’s just hope this continues.

Something Old. I knew he was the one from afar. Which is how it’s always been; regardless of the fact that I’m shortsighted. Regardless of the fact that my glasses lay neglected on my bed shelf. He told me hi. He called me Maya. I love that. I haven’t seen him in weeks. He’s walking perfectly well now. But his signature slanting strides of his will never ever fadefrom my myopia-disturbed slash adorable eyes. He might be old, but I feel the same thing I felt for him a year ago. I do not know if he feels the same way, but it doesn’t matter. Because even if I we never ever end up together, I know that It was with him, though brief and inexplicable, I experienced love.

trip note.

What do you do when you can not have the one you love? It's not like i did not try anything. i did. He did. we just... I guess it's not Allah's willing. I can't just leave this to both of us. If it really was meant to be then something would have happened. But something did. And that is sincerely the annoying part. We acted out. Slowly. Like the first moments of erosion. Fact: I have gotten over each and every person I ever had something to do with. But not him. That is why I am worried. simply cause i have a feeling that since there was something there once and it's not going, maybe it's him. Buuut i;ve pictured myself telling him: "It's you," but in a subtle kind of way. You know... genesis.
But then what? We get in a relationship and he breaks my heart? The rumours become true and turns out he actually is a player? Or maybe i become so obsessed with him that letting go of him would be harder than letting go now?
You never know unless you try. well trying isn't my thing! Do you know how rejection just brings me down down down down down?

I wrote near Kano. I wrote it on my phone, cause it was a substitute to pen and paper. i didn't have feelings for him then anymore, cause someone kind of stole my heart. but it occured to me that... the new guy didn't steal my heart the way he did. it took some time before i got in a relationship this summer. but with him, the man i really care about, he didn't even need to try. and sadly enough, i think i'm not over him. and it's been a year now. Maybe coming to aun was the worst idea ever emotionally as well. because i'm confused. how do you NOT get over a guy even after a year? we never even had a thing going on!! help.