Thursday, March 29, 2012

...


I was so hopeful I would walk into her room and see her there... probably preparing to go see her family, or help a loved one, or go to the kitchen to prepare some scrumptious meal. Oh the heavenly masa she made… she was a great cook. Of course she was not in her room. Instead, I walked in to find women of all ages, mostly family, huddled in circles, talking, eating, or just sitting there. I could still feel the warmth her home seemed to emanate, especially when she was present. There were about twenty women in there, but the room seemed empty. Is Adda really gone?
Of course not. I did not believe the text my sister sent me. She had called at first. But I was in class at the time, so I could not pick up. probably to confirm some things about the wedding. Then the text came in. She did not make it. I felt as if all the tables in class had toppled over me. I was seated, but my legs felt wobbly. I staggered out of class. Dialed Halima’s number… did I even press the dial button ?... my hands were weak and numb… I stared deep into whatever was in front of me… but did not see anything… I dialed again… ring ring ring… ‘yetcham feure on’ (tell me you’re lying)
Of course she was not lying. Why would she lie about such?
But it’s Adda… she is ADDA!! I know, people come and go… exactly what verse 156 of Surah Baqara says… ‘surely to Him we belong and to Him we shall return?’ She was my mother’s best friend, sister, and technically mother. She was my mother’s everything! Of course we and her hubby are in the picture but this is her sister we are talking about… She has not seen two of her children get married!
I always envisioned her to be the kind to see her great grand kid, if not two. Adda is a strong woman. She truly is. She is an amazing problem solver, and a lot of us look up to her. I still feel like she is around, somewhere. I cannot believe she is gone. Allah ya fu mo. 
You never really think some particular people would leave the Earth at some particular time. Sometimes you think you'll pass away before some people. Life is not planned out the way you want it to be, anything can happen at any time. my mom had told me to come see her at the hospital the sunday before, and as unusual as it was for me- i did not ask questions and complied- and immediately went to see her. imagine if i had been stubborn and said no i would see her later, i would not have been able to see her that one last time... and it would bite me in the back, neck, front, everywhere, until forever.
So if there's someone you miss, call em, someone you love, TELL THEM.
Don't just sit there and say i'll call them later, time waits for nobody. 

Friday, December 2, 2011

Future Plans


            I have made up my mind. The next boy I go out with must be my husband (note the switching of should or would to must). Blame the intense levels my heart can reach when it develops sentiments for a man. I am only over my first love because I got the closure. My ex is a different story. Being a cocky fuck and still present at the university I go to has made things worse. I find it easier to forget people things or memories when they are not in sight and in the past, memorable (cc cuba, mitko) or not (bwari etc). this boy, is not going anywhere. To make things worse, he is a cocky fuck. But that is not why I am writing this. Honestly I have lost the zeal in writing about boys when they are not even worth it.
That is the reason why I am writing this: the zeal. I do not understand why I would invest my feelings (for me to use a business term like invest in my blog… is a big deal) yes as I was saying. I cannot invest my feelings, months and months, my body my mind my soul and anything im working on at that particular time (academic career, project, hobby) on a boy, just to have him throw it all away by not being serious.
I have probably reached this stage of maturity, I am getting out of my teenage years after all, where I am realizing that everything matters. I want to have a relationship that will last forever. Sure I don’t believe in everlasting love that is EQUALLY MUTUAL, but if Im going to spend ten, twenty, thirty or more years with ONE person, I might as well build a decent foundation that will nourish and uphold the rest of the building. It’s not easy.
So why would I decide to date thinking ‘he could be the one.?’ Does that even make sense? That is gambling mayn! I know, I have been unfair to all those boys; truly I have lost count… but this is in my best interest. Why would I go out with you because you’re nice, have a nice smile, or cause you’re rich, intellectual, self established, religious, or simply cause you like me?
First off, you haven’t made an effort of truly being my friend, and then you just happened to ‘develop# feelings for me? I’m not twelve, this is not a judy blume book and you, as a man, happen to be an excellent liar. Secondly, you probably have a flaw that I can’t possibly live with: you’re still not over your ex, or you sit down with me and DISCUSS your ex (while you’re still trying to get me to go out with you o) or you’re still a boy with boyish and childish attitudes, or youre so into yourself you just think I’m worth being yours. No, I’m not mentioning these flaws cause of some dude, I’m mentioning them because I have a flaw too: I am impatient and the slightest thing irks me.
So I don’t have the zeal. You want me cause I’m nice, honest, reliable, pretty, intellectual and funny, go get a Television set, that’ll provide you with all the channels that can provide all those entertaining qualities. I’ve been hurt, and that may or may have not contributed to my scrutiny on all things male and relationship wise. But this is the bitter truth, I refuse to become an object of time whiling. You want me, prove to me you’re interested for good. I’m wanted by many and I cannot be bothered saying no when you damn well know the answer.
It’s final. My next boyfriend is going to be my husband.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Intro to A vindication of the rights of woman

I really look up to this woman!!

Mary Wollstonecraft

Introduction


"After considering the historic page, and viewing the living world with anxious solicitude, the most melancholy emotions of sorrowful indignation have depressed my spirits, and I have sighed when obliged to confess, that either nature has made a great difference between man and man, or that the civilization, which has hitherto taken place in the world, has been very partial. I have turned over various books written on the subject of education, and patiently observed the conduct of parents and the management of schools; but what has been the result? a profound conviction, that the neglected education of my fellow creatures is the grand source of the misery I deplore; and that women in particular, are rendered weak and wretched by a variety of concurring causes, originating from one hasty conclusion. The conduct and manners of women, in fact, evidently prove, that their minds are not in a healthy state; for, like the flowers that are planted in too rich a soil, strength and usefulness are sacrificed to beauty; and the flaunting leaves, after having pleased a fastidious eye, fade, disregarded on the stalk, long before the season when they ought to have arrived at maturity. One cause of this barren blooming I attribute to a false system of education, gathered from the books written on this subject by men, who, considering females rather as women than human creatures, have been more anxious to make them alluring mistresses than rational wives; and the understanding of the sex has been so bubbled by this specious homage, that the civilized women of the present century, with a few exceptions, are only anxious to inspire love, when they ought to cherish a nobler ambition, and by their abilities and virtues exact respect.
In a treatise, therefore, on female rights and manners, the works which have been particularly written for their improvement must not be overlooked; especially when it is asserted, in direct terms, that the minds of women are enfeebled by false refinement; that the books of instruction, written by men of genius, have had the same tendency as more frivolous productions; and that, in the true style of Mahometanism, they are only considered as females, and not as a part of the human species, when improvable reason is allowed to be the dignified distinction, which raises men above the brute creation, and puts a natural sceptre in a feeble hand.
Yet, because I am a woman, I would not lead my readers to suppose, that I mean violently to agitate the contested question respecting the equality and inferiority of the sex; but as the subject lies in my way, and I cannot pass it over without subjecting the main tendency of my reasoning to misconstruction, I shall stop a moment to deliver, in a few words, my opinion. In the government of the physical world, it is observable that the female, in general, is inferior to the male. The male pursues, the female yields--this is the law of nature; and it does not appear to be suspended or abrogated in favour of woman. This physical superiority cannot be denied--and it is a noble prerogative! But not content with this natural pre-eminence, men endeavour to sink us still lower, merely to render us alluring objects for a moment; and women, intoxicated by the adoration which men, under the influence of their senses, pay them, do not seek to obtain a durable interest in their hearts, or to become the friends of the fellow creatures who find amusement in their society.
I am aware of an obvious inference: from every quarter have I heard exclamations against masculine women; but where are they to be found? If, by this appellation, men mean to inveigh against their ardour in hunting, shooting, and gaming, I shall most cordially join in the cry; but if it be, against the imitation of manly virtues, or, more properly speaking, the attainment of those talents and virtues, the exercise of which ennobles the human character, and which raise females in the scale of animal being, when they are comprehensively termed mankind--all those who view them with a philosophical eye must, I should think, wish with me, that they may every day grow more and more masculine.
This discussion naturally divides the subject. I shall first consider women in the grand light of human creatures, who, in common with men, are placed on this earth to unfold their faculties; and afterwards I shall more particularly point out their peculiar designation.
I wish also to steer clear of an error, which many respectable writers have fallen into; for the instruction which has hitherto been addressed to women, has rather been applicable to LADIES, if the little indirect advice, that is scattered through Sandford and Merton, be excepted; but, addressing my sex in a firmer tone, I pay particular attention to those in the middle class, because they appear to be in the most natural state. Perhaps the seeds of false refinement, immorality, and vanity have ever been shed by the great. Weak, artificial beings raised above the common wants and affections of their race, in a premature unnatural manner, undermine the very foundation of virtue, and spread corruption through the whole mass of society! As a class of mankind they have the strongest claim to pity! the education of the rich tends to render them vain and helpless, and the unfolding mind is not strengthened by the practice of those duties which dignify the human character. They only live to amuse themselves, and by the same law which in nature invariably produces certain effects, they soon only afford barren amusement.
But as I purpose taking a separate view of the different ranks of society, and of the moral character of women, in each, this hint is, for the present, sufficient; and I have only alluded to the subject, because it appears to me to be the very essence of an introduction to give a cursory account of the contents of the work it introduces.
My own sex, I hope, will excuse me, if I treat them like rational creatures, instead of flattering their FASCINATING graces, and viewing them as if they were in a state of perpetual childhood, unable to stand alone. I earnestly wish to point out in what true dignity and human happiness consists--I wish to persuade women to endeavour to acquire strength, both of mind and body, and to convince them, that the soft phrases, susceptibility of heart, delicacy of sentiment, and refinement of taste, are almost synonymous with epithets of weakness, and that those beings who are only the objects of pity and that kind of love, which has been termed its sister, will soon become objects of contempt.
Dismissing then those pretty feminine phrases, which the men condescendingly use to soften our slavish dependence, and despising that weak elegancy of mind, exquisite sensibility, and sweet docility of manners, supposed to be the sexual characteristics of the weaker vessel, I wish to show that elegance is inferior to virtue, that the first object of laudable ambition is to obtain a character as a human being, regardless of the distinction of sex; and that secondary views should be brought to this simple touchstone.
This is a rough sketch of my plan; and should I express my conviction with the energetic emotions that I feel whenever I think of the subject, the dictates of experience and reflection will be felt by some of my readers. Animated by this important object, I shall disdain to cull my phrases or polish my style--I aim at being useful, and sincerity will render me unaffected; for wishing rather to persuade by the force of my arguments, than dazzle by the elegance of my language, I shall not waste my time in rounding periods, nor in fabricating the turgid bombast of artificial feelings, which, coming from the head, never reach the heart. I shall be employed about things, not words! and, anxious to render my sex more respectable members of society, I shall try to avoid that flowery diction which has slided from essays into novels, and from novels into familiar letters and conversation.
These pretty nothings, these caricatures of the real beauty of sensibility, dropping glibly from the tongue, vitiate the taste, and create a kind of sickly delicacy that turns away from simple unadorned truth; and a deluge of false sentiments and over-stretched feelings, stifling the natural emotions of the heart, render the domestic pleasures insipid, that ought to sweeten the exercise of those severe duties, which educate a rational and immortal being for a nobler field of action.
The education of women has, of late, been more attended to than formerly; yet they are still reckoned a frivolous sex, and ridiculed or pitied by the writers who endeavour by satire or instruction to improve them. It is acknowledged that they spend many of the first years of their lives in acquiring a smattering of accomplishments: meanwhile, strength of body and mind are sacrificed to libertine notions of beauty, to the desire of establishing themselves, the only way women can rise in the world--by marriage. And this desire making mere animals of them, when they marry, they act as such children may be expected to act: they dress; they paint, and nickname God's creatures. Surely these weak beings are only fit for the seraglio! Can they govern a family, or take care of the poor babes whom they bring into the world?
If then it can be fairly deduced from the present conduct of the sex, from the prevalent fondness for pleasure, which takes place of ambition and those nobler passions that open and enlarge the soul; that the instruction which women have received has only tended, with the constitution of civil society, to render them insignificant objects of desire; mere propagators of fools! if it can be proved, that in aiming to accomplish them, without cultivating their understandings, they are taken out of their sphere of duties, and made ridiculous and useless when the short lived bloom of beauty is over(1) , I presume that RATIONAL men will excuse me for endeavouring to persuade them to become more masculine and respectable.
Indeed the word masculine is only a bugbear: there is little reason to fear that women will acquire too much courage or fortitude; for their apparent inferiority with respect to bodily strength, must render them, in some degree, dependent on men in the various relations of life; but why should it be increased by prejudices that give a sex to virtue, and confound simple truths with sensual reveries?
Women are, in fact, so much degraded by mistaken notions of female excellence, that I do not mean to add a paradox when I assert, that this artificial weakness produces a propensity to tyrannize, and gives birth to cunning, the natural opponent of strength, which leads them to play off those contemptible infantile airs that undermine esteem even whilst they excite desire. Do not foster these prejudices, and they will naturally fall into their subordinate, yet respectable station in life.
It seems scarcely necessary to say, that I now speak of the sex in general. Many individuals have more sense than their male relatives; and, as nothing preponderates where there is a constant struggle for an equilibrium, without it has naturally more gravity, some women govern their husbands without degrading themselves, because intellect will always govern"

Monday, November 14, 2011

Jewelry



Maya’s Jewelry
Maya logo1-01.png
About Maya’s Jewelry
Maya’s Jewelry is a jewelry company that specializes in crafting various kinds of jewelry such as bracelets, rings, earrings, brooches, lockets, bands, charms, especially necklaces and pendants. The main jewelry shop is located in Abuja. Although the company is new, Maya’s jewelry hopes to expand its sop’s branches to other cities like Lagos, Port Harcourt, Kaduna and Yola. Maya’s Jewelry’s main target is particularly the female youth and so its jewelry is feminine, classy, elegant, yet set at affordable prices. Maya’s Jewelry uses a wide range of materials for its adornments such as gemstones, metals, beads, and shells. It is colorful, absolutely appealing to the eye and comes in different shapes and sizes. The company started off as a necklace making company but recently expanded to other jewelry. In the future, Maya’s Jewelry hopes to expand again to the production and distribution of watches, bigger gemstones like diamonds, and men’s adornments.
About Our Logo
Maya’s jewelry started off as a necklace and pendant only company, and so its logo is a pearl necklace hanging off of a mannequin. The black mannequin symbolizes energy, which the youth all have while the blue background symbolizes stability, security and loyalty; we value our customers and all that we do is in their best interest. The necklace is in two colors. One third of it is white, because white gives off a pure, clean and peaceful impression. This is true about Maya’s Jewelry: no animals or humans were harmed in the making of any adornment from this company. The gold color symbolizes riches and extravagance; although our prices are affordable our adornments exude a higher class, taste elegance and grandeur.
Two thirds of the necklace is gold, which is not only part of the necklace but also serves as the letter ‘J’ from the word Jewelry. The font used for the Logo also shows elegance as it is a cursive font.
Electronic use of Logo:
To use our logo electronically, the yellow part of the necklace along with ‘Maya’s jewelry\’ slowly meet each other at one point in movement. The ‘J’ comes in from the left side, ‘Maya’s’ comes in from the top whilst ‘ewelry’ comes in from the bottom, all meeting on the right side of the mannequin.

Monday, November 7, 2011

meat meat meat, oh and family & friends and fun and more meat


I have a headache. And blogging just hasn’t been my thing. But after thorough consideration and an urge from my awesome Leema, Ms. Leema Mason to be precise, i decided to write even the tiniest thing. This weekend was not an ordinary weekend. It was Eid.
My idea of eid would be several slaves doing all the work (in Naija) while i go shopping on an Eid Day discount spree with my best friends in Milan Italy, have a barbecue with my family and more friends, dine and wine(or in this case zobo) with the love of my life in a Thai restaurant, go horse riding on Morroccan sands, and go for a swim with him on a Cuban beach. (notice the time zones and countries) But well shit happens. Here’s the beginning:
I used to have my Eid Spirit you know.
Basically, my eid experiences started like this: Dress up in the awesomest outfit ever, get money, go for yawo, and get more money.
Then it improved to: Go for eidi, MISS SCHOOL! O(it was a non holiday on sallah day country), wear a veil (i never did), visit friendssss, eat like there was no tomorrow, play like crazy, eat amazinggg dishes that filled up the dining table, go swimming, (usually before the food hogging) and then sleep.
And Afterwards: loved having to leave that dreadful boarding school just for eid, getting our clothes stitched and being able to pick my designs myselfffff, going to meet family!!!
Couple years back: missing school too :D kayan ciki from the people from Mali, and well you get the whole ladida...
I cant go on and on about almost a score of my eid experiences you see, it’ll take two books.
Anyhu, the message I’m trying to send is all my Eids these past years have been amazing, peaceful, satisfying, and well, perfect. But THIS ONE. Hian.
At the end of the day i just decided to marry a vegetarian. I celebrated eid in yola, and we’ve got the whole extended family thing going on. My sisters and bro weren’t here and that was not just the only bummer. I had to work. Normally i would run away from nama duty but i was the only available offspring. So i mopped, swept, washed eternal dishes... these dishes never stopped coming in. It was this bad: i was washing dishes from 11 to 2. TWO O. Anyhow anyhowwww, the important thing is i complained cause i suffered, ba kadan ba.
There i was cutting meat like there was no tomorrow, bending down, standing up all for the sake of raw meat. And it was bloody L not cool. Bloody meat. And then we had to cut some more and share it, and cut some more and share it and cut some more for ourselves and my hands felt as if they didn’t belong to me. Bloody meat... Yukkkkk. I mean really? I just lost all interest in all sortsa meat, even tsire and grilled steak o, mind you. I just realized that it was not worth it. It was bad enough i lost my sallah spirit: it wasn’t as if i was going to get any money, that happened eons and eons ago; the whole family wasn’t there; there wouldn’t be the usual yawon sallah; and last and most painful: My tailor butchered my clothes, plus MYRATI WASN’T HEREEE. Haha that was some serious exaggeration, he just didn’t use my measurement to stitch the outfit. I mean he didn’t literally get a knife and butcher the clothes with violence haha.. moving on. So i was left with only one other option that i thought was too cultural but eventually everyone, even my dad, liked. Haha. Ill put up pics.
Anyhowww. I got the whole family vibe. I chilled with my mom and dad which i haven’t done in a long time, if i’m with my mom i’m naggin about everything, if i’m with my dad im naggin him about one electronic device or the other. But this time around, i was with them as a family and that felt REALLY GOOD.
I worked my ass off, and it was self relieving i promise you. I felt this sense of accomplishment of turning the messy kitchen into a sparkly wonder. It was so euphoric and i’m not just spicing up the details. Cleanliness, indeed, is next to godliness.
I know there were more drawbacks of Eid this year than the positive side, but it was worth it. Major worth it: i slept like a baby while Mandonna had to battle a rat, yes a RAT. Haha. I just slept and slept and slept. we watched the Hangover two and literally laughed like crazy people. Heck it was so funny and now i know no matter what horrible phase i’m going through, i have given Mandonna the right to ask me: but did you DIE? HAHA. That’s still funny.
All in all, it’s the principle and simplicity that counts.

Friday, September 2, 2011

some of the best things in life

The best things in life: Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you, waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep, first kisses, making new friends and spending time with the old ones, singing in the bathroom, sweet dreams, hot chocolate, making brownies and cookies, holding hands with someone you care about, watching a sunset, sleeping in, taking long hot showers, and knowing that somebody misses you ♥

Thursday, July 7, 2011

RelieF

I feel so relieved right now you have no idea.
Yes, my previous blogpost contradicts this one: my friends think I am bipolar. I of course highly agree and disagree (yes, more bipolar traits). I disagree because as all you 90210 viewers have witnessed, Silver and her bipolar-ism is just too sickening a disease for one to claim. I agree because I have the ability to change minds feeling decisions and all that jazz in the blink of an eye. I feel very relieved, bipolar or not.
Contradictory or not.
I feel like I have this major sense of accomplishment surging through me right now I could jump and jubilate. If not for the soreness in my body. I had a whole whop of responsibilities on my shoulders this morening, and I accomplished them all. Successfully or not, you be the judge. I passed in various ways- cleaned up the house, arranged the rooms, made lunch (general lunch and specific lunch), had a guest over (okay it was myra and heebah and they’re family but still), gave out the address to my house almost perfectly okay, survived my toddler of a nephew (some think he is my son), he had so much chocolate and candy and sugar he started cabo snooping everywhere. But I survived it all. I even survived watching a close member of mine weep in pain.
I have a very close blood who is ill. I would do anything. I mean it, anything, to trade places with X. Not because I want to. But because X does NOT deserve to be ill. She has a family, a good better half and a lovely child, and a home, anda job and if not an academic career, that X should be attending to. Not weeping away every night in pain. I feel for X. All I can do is say sorry, and give love to X’s son, who is also my son. I feel compared to X, my life is stupid. I complain about friends who betray me, and people who dislike me, and how I got a C on a test, how I cannot date any boy because they all have flaws that cannot be changed, and how I want the latest gadget, and why people get angry and jealous, and every other unnecessary secondary material/ issue- when there are way more important things out there. Like X, who is sick and would give anything to stop feeling the pain and handle their family. I know I should be praying for X, I do that all the time, believe you me. I also know it is naive of me to want to be that ill. X is the strongest person I know. If I had to be in X’s position, I would not be blogging this. I would be long gone. I am weak, compared to X. no I am not under estimating myself. This is the part where one has to understand, seeing is believing. I do wish X the greatest of recovery, because Kululu needs a loving parent.
I put my son to bed, and now I have finished this blogpost, I did things on time, and I feel close religious wise. All I need to do today is take a hot aromatherapy (lavender in particular) shower, and jump into my pajama dress and maybe watch some south park. Today, was great. Thanks to everyone around me.

About Me

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I'm just trying to figure out metamorphosis as I grow up. It's very last minute. So i can barely predict much.

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