...

I was so hopeful I would walk into her room and see her there... probably preparing to go see her family, or help a loved one, or go to the kitchen to prepare some scrumptious meal. Oh the heavenly masa she made… she was a great cook. Of course she was not in her room. Instead, I walked in to find women of all ages, mostly family, huddled in circles, talking, eating, or just sitting there. I could still feel the warmth her home seemed to emanate, especially when she was present. There were about twenty women in there, but the room seemed empty. Is Adda really gone?

Of course not. I did not believe the text my sister sent me. She had called at first. But I was in class at the time, so I could not pick up. probably to confirm some things about the wedding. Then the text came in. She did not make it. I felt as if all the tables in class had toppled over me. I was seated, but my legs felt wobbly. I staggered out of class. Dialed Halima’s number… did I even press the dial button ?... my hands were weak and numb… I stared deep into whatever was in front of me… but did not see anything… I dialed again… ring ring ring… ‘yetcham feure on’ (tell me you’re lying)

Of course she was not lying. Why would she lie about such?

But it’s Adda… she is ADDA!! I know, people come and go… exactly what verse 156 of Surah Baqara says… ‘surely to Him we belong and to Him we shall return?’ She was my mother’s best friend, sister, and technically mother. She was my mother’s everything! Of course we and her hubby are in the picture but this is her sister we are talking about… She has not seen two of her children get married!

I always envisioned her to be the kind to see her great grand kid, if not two. Adda is a strong woman. She truly is. She is an amazing problem solver, and a lot of us look up to her. I still feel like she is around, somewhere. I cannot believe she is gone. Allah ya fu mo. 

You never really think some particular people would leave the Earth at some particular time. Sometimes you think you'll pass away before some people. Life is not planned out the way you want it to be, anything can happen at any time. my mom had told me to come see her at the hospital the sunday before, and as unusual as it was for me- i did not ask questions and complied- and immediately went to see her. imagine if i had been stubborn and said no i would see her later, i would not have been able to see her that one last time... and it would bite me in the back, neck, front, everywhere, until forever.

So if there's someone you miss, call em, someone you love, TELL THEM.

Don't just sit there and say i'll call them later, time waits for nobody.