RelieF

I feel so relieved right now you have no idea.
Yes, my previous blogpost contradicts this one: my friends think I am bipolar. I of course highly agree and disagree (yes, more bipolar traits). I disagree because as all you 90210 viewers have witnessed, Silver and her bipolar-ism is just too sickening a disease for one to claim. I agree because I have the ability to change minds feeling decisions and all that jazz in the blink of an eye. I feel very relieved, bipolar or not.
Contradictory or not.
I feel like I have this major sense of accomplishment surging through me right now I could jump and jubilate. If not for the soreness in my body. I had a whole whop of responsibilities on my shoulders this morening, and I accomplished them all. Successfully or not, you be the judge. I passed in various ways- cleaned up the house, arranged the rooms, made lunch (general lunch and specific lunch), had a guest over (okay it was myra and heebah and they’re family but still), gave out the address to my house almost perfectly okay, survived my toddler of a nephew (some think he is my son), he had so much chocolate and candy and sugar he started cabo snooping everywhere. But I survived it all. I even survived watching a close member of mine weep in pain.
I have a very close blood who is ill. I would do anything. I mean it, anything, to trade places with X. Not because I want to. But because X does NOT deserve to be ill. She has a family, a good better half and a lovely child, and a home, anda job and if not an academic career, that X should be attending to. Not weeping away every night in pain. I feel for X. All I can do is say sorry, and give love to X’s son, who is also my son. I feel compared to X, my life is stupid. I complain about friends who betray me, and people who dislike me, and how I got a C on a test, how I cannot date any boy because they all have flaws that cannot be changed, and how I want the latest gadget, and why people get angry and jealous, and every other unnecessary secondary material/ issue- when there are way more important things out there. Like X, who is sick and would give anything to stop feeling the pain and handle their family. I know I should be praying for X, I do that all the time, believe you me. I also know it is naive of me to want to be that ill. X is the strongest person I know. If I had to be in X’s position, I would not be blogging this. I would be long gone. I am weak, compared to X. no I am not under estimating myself. This is the part where one has to understand, seeing is believing. I do wish X the greatest of recovery, because Kululu needs a loving parent.
I put my son to bed, and now I have finished this blogpost, I did things on time, and I feel close religious wise. All I need to do today is take a hot aromatherapy (lavender in particular) shower, and jump into my pajama dress and maybe watch some south park. Today, was great. Thanks to everyone around me.