Stuff Since Late 2009

weird shit. had to remove it. its s blog, not a diary.

Pain. Remorse. Reflection.

It is the last day of spring 2010. I can’t believe it is over. A few months ago I was in my green and black trads, boarding Arik airways, hiding tears of grief. I was going to yola, and leaving my family and abode was torture. I did not want to come back to Abti. The school of drama would be an understatement to AUN. Considering I barely even went for social events or made millions of friends. Now it is over, and I cannot help but reflect.

I think I fell in love. Okay, I am unfortunately the kind of person that cherishes at least one thing in one person. Well for this boy,

Ugh nevermind talking about him won’t bring him back. I cannot tell if he likes me or not anymore, some things he does makes me know for sure he wants me just as much as I want him, but in other cases I feel he resents me even by just sighting me.

Departures suck you have no idea. I have three friends that I may not see until august, or in the case of my friend who is leaving tomorrow, june. I met them late last year but I feel so connected to them; even though we barely talk. I wish they could stay for summer, even for just hi’s and hello’s.

Listening to carter burwells song, Bella’s lullaby. It’s making me feel hideous pangs of remorse. I hope my results turn out okay. Went for a walk with S and F today. I love how they didn’t leave me out in their convo’s and even sort of analyzed me. Apparently when I’m quiet I look upset and when I talk I’m all gleeful. J I like that. I wish we could have walked forever. But then our legs would cut off and we would lack things to say. Funny thing is even when we were in the midst of some awkward silence, it never felt awkward. S is the type of man all guys need to be. As for F, I’m so comfortable around her. Which I love so much. I will miss her.

So the window was let open for forever and there r insects all over the room. They are silently flying around, creepy crawlers on my bed... I am seconds from throwing up. As much as I would love for the internet connection to fix itself... I am happy it is not. I am using the time to reflect on this semester.

I slacked so much and ended up writing simple exams. Sociology and Civ exams weren’t funny though. As for the rest they rocked.

I think what is inspiring me to write this much is I do not remember.

Okay, I remember. A’s friend S blogs, and my friend btBoy blogs as well, and I’ve seen both their blogs, and I do think it would be wonderful if I write down stuff I’m feeling as well. I am not only going to improve my vocab and writing skills, but I get to release the pain or whatever I’m feeling. Sure I have to make my blog private, since I know there r a bunch of people who would oh so love to take out stuff from my blog and talk bout it... blackmail yeah?

Thing is, I won#t mention names. You can tell who I’m talking bout if we are close friends. Yep. Listening to Wake me Up, Evanescence. I need that.

I need to wake up and find I have it easy. Life is easy. H’s charms, A’s looks, Am’s brain, Z’s wits, M’s skills, B’s diplomacy and M’s generosity and religiousness. I don’t know whether religiousness is a word but still. See if I had all those qualities I would not have a sedentary life.

False.

I do not need all these qualities, it would make me perfect. Imperfections are realistic. Perfection is unrealistic. Ok thoughtology.. sorry. ß THAT is definitely wrong. Anyway. I guess I like how I am. Random, forgetful, talkative, not so focused. People think it’s cute. Even though I dislike these “qualities”.

Ok I think I’ve written enough,

I’m going home to relax tomorrow. :D but before that, I’m gonna go to GPB.. got some unfinished business.

Today was amazing by the way. Wrote an awesome exam, it rained, the weather was soothing, hung out with friends. J really wish it would be like this every day. Alhamdulillah. Saw sum as well. J and Ahmad.

I'm writing an exam tomorrow morning. Do you know what? i have no idea whatsoever of what i am doing. i got the syllabus early this semester. and guess what, I did not even touch it. this is gunna suck. i sweaa!

perfect day. Turns out the lowest i could get in civ is a D (heard no one failed) was too scared to go to class the other day simply cause I didnt wanna see my gradeee. All clases r goin great, hope my annotated bibliograqphy is fine. I'll check with Margaret B., to see if my lib assignment biblio was fine, so ill submit my civ own to her hubby.

k... so there's a better part to the law:

But if a man

find a betrothed damsel in the field and the man force her and lie with her; then

the man only that lay with her shall die." The Hebrew law is much more explicit

on this point.

"If a damsel that is a virgin be betrothed unto an husband and a

man find her in the city and lie with her: then ye shall bring them both unto the

gate of that city and ye shall stone them with stones that they die; the damsel

because she cried not, being in the city; and the man because he hath humbled

his neighbour's wife; so thou shalt put away evil from among you."

tom, you getting raped, kill the mother effer or SCREAMMMMMM for your life. ba wani "if you can't avoid rape enjoy it!!!" cause then you gonn be killed, according to Hebrew old testament :)

so.... I love some of my friends. two people have so far told me not to drop Civ 211. and i shall not :D Well, im gonna go see him tomorrow, if i for some awesome reason passes his test and get a chance with my annotated bibliography, then siii. voy a quedarme en su clase muy dificill. but if not, then WP for Maryam Isa... :O