The Dream, the Theories and the Change of Mind

 I sincerely do not know why I had a dream about you. But I feel indifferent about it all. Okay weirded out simply because well, I feel like I am over you. I act stupid around you and the simplest eye contact can bring the feelings back but that’s not what I am saying. I don’t weep about you anymore, I don’t have you on my mind 24/7, I just know you were a part of my life at one point in time, and you meant a lot to me. But I don’t feel like I love you anymore. And I am willing to let you go. So yes, I am indifferent.

But then having you in my subconscious mind all of a sudden is freaking me out. I’m lying I’m not freaked out. I’m enjoying this actually. Behind the weird context of a possibility of wanting you back. So yes. What if you come from nowhere and say we should get together. Well let’s just summarize my media dependency theory. Since it’s a dream i am most likely not going to forget…

Honestly speaking, I think these theories make a whole lot of sense. The thing is, I simply do not fully agree with them. As a liberalist, there is no way I can read about these theories and nod my head and say, fact. They make sense, they rectify some incidents, but what are they trying to say? That people are being controlled by their own inventions?

Okay back to me thoughts

am a hypocrite. Yes. I am not going to deny that. For what benefit? There are things that I would vow never to do, and then I end up doing them. Sometimes out of compulsion (convincing) and sometimes out of will. This time. It happened. Out of will.

I wrote the above weeks ago, just thought it’s proper that I posted it.